My teacher says the first step to meditation is pretending to meditate. Think of a little kid playing dress-up or making cakes out of sand in the sand box. We know they are not really cooking, but they are going through the motions and we still praise and support the effort. So, in starting your meditation practice, give yourself permission to pretend. Know that while you are sitting and the mind is racing, you are on the path to meditating. Sandbox bakers today make amazing cooks tomorrow! Have fun playing in the sandbox of meditation. After sitting for ten minutes perhaps smile to yourself and say “Woah! It’s amazing all the thoughts that were happening in my mind!” Then give yourself a pat on the back and try again tomorrow.
Which meditation is right for you? The yoga sutras lists several meditation techniques such as focusing on the breath or focusing on someone or something you find inspiring. It explains that you can focus on anything that works for you. (Chapter 1 vs. 34-39). We are all one and we are all connected, so ultimately anything we focus on will bring us to stillness. I would suggest picking something that you find up-lifting and enjoyable.
So where is a good place to start when looking for a meditation focus? Are you a more auditory, visual or kinesthetic person? Do you like stories (ie guided meditations) or a simple thing to focus on? A more auditory person may benefit from a mantra meditation, where you repeat a word or a phrase over and over again. A visual person may work well with choosing an object to visualize and focus on, such as the heart, a celestial object like the sun or moon, or a spiritual teacher. A kinesthetic person may enjoy focusing on something that they can feel and experience with the senses, for example imagining a flower and how it looks and feels and smells when holding it. Try out different meditation techniques. There are some meditation apps such as Calm and Insight timer that can be a good place to start, however, these apps can be overwhelming with so many options. Keep in mind that once you find a meditation technique you like, stick with it. (You can cancel your meditation app subscription when your shopping experience has been completed.) “It is much better to dig one well ten feet deep than ten wells one foot deep”. When the meditation you picked gets difficult, stick with it. And yes, there will be ups and downs. Think of it like a sport; if you quit a sport because of a bad experience and start up another sport, and quit that sport because of a bad experience, you will never become proficient at any While discernment of picking a mediation technique you like is important, keep in mind that once you have found a technique you like, there will be times when it will feel hard and the best strategy will be to stick with it.
In my tradition, it is best to sit while meditating. When lying down, you are prone to fall asleep, zone out, get groggy and become dull in the mind. What would a comfortable seat look like for you? Is it sitting in a chair? Is it sitting on a bolster on the floor? Try different positions to see if you can find that sweet and steady posture. If the body is uncomfortable sitting in any of these positions for a period of time (10-20 minutes) perhaps it would be good to first focus on the body, getting it in good meditation shape. What muscles do you need to strengthen to be able to sit longer? What body regions are tight that may need to be stretched? Going to the gym or a yoga class, can be good to help get the kinks out and strengthen and stretch the body, so that you can sit for a period of time. In your meditation practice, you will want to forget about the body (not feel any aches or pains), so you can direct your focus on stilling and slowing the mind.
Another secret to making meditation easier, and a game changer if you already have a meditation practice, is incorporating breathing practices for a few minutes beforehand. The breath and the mind are linked. Reflect back on times when you or someone you know was really angry- what was their breathing pattern like? How about when you were on an amazing vacation- what was your breathing like at that time? An angry breath is usually more shallow and quick, while a relaxed vacation breath is slow, deep and steady. So when we consciously slow down and settle the breath, it will help slow down the mind and that is what we want when we sit for our meditation practice. As a beginning meditator, a sitting practice of five to seven minutes of breathing followed by five to seven minutes of meditation can be successful. There are many yogic breaths that are good to prepare you for meditation and I will explain two of them: Full Belly Breath and alternate nostril breathing (nadi shodhana).
Full belly breaths, or diaphragmatic breathing is when you inhale and exhale through the nose and expand the belly on the inhalation (think of a balloon inflating) and pull the belly back on the exhalation (think of the balloon/belly deflating). The shoulders do not lift up towards the ears at any point of the breath, but rather are stationary the whole time. This full belly breath will stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest part of the nervous system) and help you switch gears from the hustle and bustle of a busy and stressful day to a sitting meditation practice.
Alternate Nostril breathing, or nadi shodhana, helps to balance the right and left hemispheres of the brain (think right brained thinking vs. left brained thinking). This breathing practice will bring your mind towards a balance of thinking from both brain hemispheres, a centered frame of mind, which is also good in preparing for meditation. While sitting, put your right hand into a gentle fist then extend the thumb and ring finger on this right hand. Bring the right hand between the nose so the right thumb is touching the right side of nostril and the ring finger is touching the left side of the nostril. Begin the practice by plugging the right nostril with your thumb and inhaling through your left nostril, then plug your left nostril with your ring finger and exhale through your right nostril, then inhale through your right nostril, plug your right nostril with your thumb, then exhale through your left nostril, inhale through your left nostril and switch back to the right nostril and repeat. The pattern is simply -exhale, inhale, switch; exhale, inhale switch.
In summary, when starting a meditation practice, I would recommend doing two to three minutes of belly breaths, followed by two to three minutes of alternate nostril breathing, then five to seven minutes of meditation. This combination and approach can be a great way to start on your journey of stilling and calming the mind and seeing things from a more serene perspective. Best of luck to you on this journey we call life!